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Time Trials / Junk Energy Time Trials (14)

Added 9 months ago

Online DLC: San Andreas Mercenaries

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Mount Chiliad offers so many beautiful vistas. And who wouldn't want a sweaty, breathless view of Old Man's Crack?

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Par time: 2:20.000

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Nothing like the tallest peak in San Andreas to really put things into perspective. Shame perspective is the last thing you want on a Junked-up plummet down the mountainside.

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Par time: 2:00.000

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Relax. You'll be fine. Just pedal as fast as you can and don't think about Mount Gordo's reputation as the most reliable suicide spot in the state.

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Par time: 1:55.000

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There's nothing like the peace of the mountains and the calm of the beach, broken by the screams of cocksure cyclists maxing out their health insurance.

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Par time: 1:35.000

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Enjoy your self-guided tour of Marlowe Vineyards with balanced, full-bodied notes of terror and dread, and a lingering aftertaste of Junk-infused badassery.

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Par time: 2:10.000

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Make the Vinewood wannabes jealous. A horrific traffic collision is bound to fast-track you to the front page of the Daily Rag.

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Par time: 1:40.000

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Ram some cotton balls up your nose and grab the anti-bac spray. It's time to put those mudflaps and your immune system to the test. The faster you go, the better your chances...

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Par time: 2:00.000

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Sure, construction workers have stable jobs, good salaries, comfortable homes. But can they do a 360 bar spin without smashing their front teeth? Show them how it's done.

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Par time: 1:50.000

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They do say the safest way to visit El Burro Heights is as fast as possible. So, you know, that's something.

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Par time: 1:35.000

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Who needs mountains and fresh air when you've got stairs and 240% more vehicle pollution than the national average?

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Par time: 1:20.000

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How do the citizens of Los Santos feel about bikes in the inner city? Scratch their paintwork and find out...

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Par time: 1:50.000

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Consistently ranked in the LS Best Places to Die, a ride through Vinewood Hills is the perfect opportunity to watch other people's lives flash before your eyes for once.

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Par time: 1:35.000

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There's "cultural bike rides" and then there's botching a wheelie, exploding through the shrubbery, and traumatizing senior citizens. Still counts.

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Par time: 2:10.000

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Now you're riding a single-speed round Mirror Park, have you considered micro bangs, deconstructed matcha latte, and some obscure electropop to go with that?

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Par time: 1:50.000